Let’s get into the most common myth when it comes to sex in Judaism, specifically about Orthodox Jews: the ol’ sex through a sheet theory.

We’ll start by setting the record straight- not only is this not practiced, it’s actually forbidden. And Jewish law is clear about it, mandating the “closeness of flesh” during sex. The Talmud goes even further to warn against engaging in intercourse “like the Persians, who have conjugal relations in their clothes.”

Jewish law asserts that sex must be body to body, stipulating that a husband who refuses to have sex with his wife unless they are clothed, must divorce her and pay her the full amount of their marriage contract.

This law is explicit that sex in Judaism demands uncovered, bare skin contact but also has a more implicit explanation. Whereas other faiths find the body unholy, encouraging denial and restraint of of it during sex, Judaism rejects this. In Judaism, the body is the vehicle for the highest form of physical connection and nothing, especially not a sheet, should get in the way of that.

And though we are taught to constantly increase our levels of observance and commitment to God, here people are warned about being excessively pious, most importantly when it’s to the detriment of their marriage. Often when trying to be more devout, many adopt the misguided belief that sex and nakedness is incongruent with being holy. This  thinking leads to misunderstanding the true purpose of sex in Judaism: Intimacy.

In its purest, most physical form- the intertwining and bonding of two bodies to become one with no barriers at all. In Judaism, this is holiness and it needs no other trappings.

Now of course in Judaism, almost any sexual practice or position is permitted so long at it excites a couple about each other, so if they choose to  occasionally wear lingerie, outfits or accessories to spice things up, there is no issue. But sex at its peak potency in Judaism includes total nakedness, of the mind, body and soul.

So how did Orthodox Jews get this rep?

Some attribute it to a simple misunderstanding, that of the “tzitzit”. For thousands of years observant Jewish men have worn a four cornered fringed garment that is put on over and through the head, hence a big hole in the middle. Supposedly when the tzitzit were washed and hung outside to dry, passerbys who saw them got the wrong idea.

While that’s a likely story, there is absolutely some  underlying antisemitism attached to how this rumor spread. Just another libelous, completely unfactual inference that Jews are joyless, sexually-repressed and weird. When in fact, there is no more intimate, human and holy approach to sex around.