by Chana Boteach

Let’s break it down.

Leviticus 20:13 states, “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” We see clearly that biblical prohibition is against the act of male intercourse, not against the individual or their orientation. Homosexual acts between women are not mentioned, though many commentators say that the prohibition encompasses sexual acts between women as well.

Here’s the bottom line.

There is a misnomer that God gave Ten Commandments. But that’s not true. God gave two sets of five commandments.

These foundational laws could have been put onto one block of stone, but God separated them:

Religious commandments and Ethical commandments.

Religious commandments concern the relationship between a person and God:

Believing in one God, honoring the Sabbath, etc.

The second set is about the relationship between a person and their fellow:

Don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness etc. where there is the possibility of an injured third party. We see here that according to the Torah, homosexual acts would be considered a religious infraction as the act is between two consenting adults and no party is injured, much like breaking the Sabbath or eating food that isn’t kosher.

Also, the word used to describe the act, “abomination” is used over 100x in the Torah, for instances like eating shellfish, being arrogant or eating a three-day old sacrificial peace offering.

(Would you call someone who eats a cheeseburger immoral?)

Similarly, the capital offense that is mentioned for homosexual acts was a process so intricate, including two witnesses, warnings etc. that there isn’t even any mention of it ever occuring.

In Judaism, God wants all of you.

There are 613 commandments in the Torah. Homosexuality transgresses two:

The commandment for man and woman to marry and have children as well as the prohibition of sexual intercourse.

That leaves 611 ways to connect with God and keep anyone nice and busy.

So, while those in same-sex relationships may not be observing the sexual laws of the Torah, that doesn’t mean that there can’t be a relationship based on all of the other laws: commitment, fidelity, and intimacy.

A short story:

My father had a childhood friend in Los Angeles. He and my father grew close to the Chabad movement as kids and went to see the Lubavitcher Rebbe many times. This friend later came out as gay and left the orthodox community. Years later, my father ran into him in New York and asked that he join him in visiting the Rebbe like old times.

The man declined saying that he felt uncomfortable going, unsure of how he’d be received. My father pushed him until he gave in. they were standing on a long line with others waiting for their face to face moment with the great Jewish leader, when suddenly the Rebbe caught his gaze, paused and opened his arms with a smile bigger than my father had witnessed anyone receive- an outpouring of love and acceptance that would desolve any previous feelings of rejection and estrangement.