The Brain In Love
“Love is a biological necessity.”
In a time when higher rates of people are choosing to be single rather than couple up, researchers are still adamant that life with love is worth fighting for.
The first human emotion experienced in the Bible is Adam’s loneliness and God remedies this feeling by creating Eve, a lover and counterpart for Adam to experience life with.
But the intrinsic need to seek out companionship and love does not stem from societal norms or religious pressure, it is actually biological- a deep human need that is physically craved by the body.
In a recent article by National Geographic, scientists explain that the brain is mostly responsible for how we partake, bond and benefit from love. And though relationships are so often accompanied by forms of fear, anxiety and angst, the advantages far outweigh the risks.
So much so that as long as we are living, the brain “is always trying to motivate you to bond with others.” And when that happens and a person finds themselves feeling “attraction, affection, and attachment,” the brain is activated and releases a cocktail of hormones that substantially improve life and overall wellbeing.
Comprising of brain parts like the amygdala, hypothalamus and hippocampus, it is the limbic system that springs into action when you fall or feel in love. The brain secretes hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, testosterone and estrogen, all of whose functions essentially “reward” the brain.
Some of these hormones release in surges during the early stages and some are in for the long haul as love starts to take form. But throughout, the “rewards” have physical, real time effects including better sleep, feelings of joy, improved cognitive function, physical healing of the body and relief from pain, even increased life span.
Interestingly though, some of the fluctuations in these hormones like vasopressin, dopamine and serotonin can also have effects that manifest in less desirable ways- like jealousy and intrusive, obsessive thoughts.
But these uneasy feelings (in moderation) are important to the love experience too, as uncomfortable as they might feel. Judaism teaches us that some possessiveness in a relationship is healthy and can guard the bond between two people. As for unwanted thoughts- these are usually just the minds protection and armor as it embarks on this intense, vulnerable journey with another person.
What’s so fascinating from this research is the biological, chemical proof that this deep craving for love and touch does not stem from anywhere unhealthy, broken or weak. It is simply our human nature and design.
According to Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Oregon, love is not some luxury but “a biological necessity that is as vital to a person’s wellbeing as fresh water, food, and exercise.”
And while finding and sustaining love is easier said than done, we also hold something even greater perhaps- resilience. So that even when it seems the brain has led us towards heartbreak, it recovers and bravely tries again in its search for love.