Judaism is really into marriage. The first human emotion mentioned in the Bible is Adam’s loneliness and God subsequently declares, “it is not good for man to be alone.”

Human beings are social creatures. We crave touch, closeness and intimacy and when it’s done right, the bond with another person can comfort the soul and alleviate the pressures of life.

But Judaism also acknowledges that while marriage is the ideal because it allows for that oneness with another and creation, we are indeed born alone and will die alone 😐 The real oneness is where our souls return to God and we are reunited with the Divine.

This “aloneness” is not be feared or undervalued.

In fact, we are taught that when a person is single, they are “compared to the soul in its exalted Divine state, before it has the worldly challenges.”

Of course, this is not to say that people who are unattached don’t have challenges. We all know that life isn’t easy, regardless of relationship status and each experience has its pros and cons.

This is to say though, that a single person is freer with their heart and the responsibilities of being emotionally intertwined and invested with another. Judaism actually says that this is a time of peacefulness- and in this time, your partner is God Himself.

The Gate of Trust, an ancient 11th century Jewish text explains that singlehood is actually an opportunity for great closeness and intimacy with God. One should take the time when they’re not in a relationship to get to know God, to cleave to Him and deepen the bond. Essentially “dating” God.

Unlike other religions where humans are commanded to submit to God or reject the physical world and choose solitude to connect with divinity, Judaism is about a relationship with God. Almost like a human connection, there are ups and downs and sometimes it feels like God “ghosts” you, but God is there and He wants you there, engaged with Him, trusting Him, exploring Him.

So for all the singles, whatever the reason or no reason at all, you’re actually in quite a serious relationship, with God. And He wants you long-term.

* Sha’ar HaBitachon, chapter 4, part 13.