A Woman’s Right to Sex in Judaism

The Torah portion Vayishlach is an action packed portion of the Torah that peaks with Jacob wrestling and prevailing over an angel who informs him that  He and the nation that will come from him, will now be named Israel- “He who wrestles with God.”

But prior to this, Jacob returns to the land of Israel and meets his estranged twin brother Esau. Ahead of their meeting, Jacob sends him a gift/peace offering: hundreds of livestock, but in very specific, disproportional male to female numbers.

So specific that Torah commentators ask why.

Rashi, a Medieval French Rabbi, explains that these numbers of male and female cattle are not random, but symbolic of the conjugal duties that a man must honor to his wife.

“Men of leisure, every day; laborers, twice a week; donkey-drivers, once a week; camel-drivers, once in thirty days; sailors, once in six months…it appears to me that we learn from here that conjugal duties are not uniform with every person, but according to the burden he must bear…”

The commentary goes on, explaining that a man must have sex with his wife as often as he can based on his profession and the time it allows him.

The Talmud expounds on this through many pages stating that men of leisure, who have less responsibility and financial stress “have the ability to satisfy their wives every night.” So while the Torah is understanding that men had to work and travel to support their families, it also ensures that a man is prioritizing his wife’s sexual needs and connecting with her- to the best of his ability.

These passages also clearly indicate that women want sex- and it’s their right to have it.

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