The Gemara explains that there are two ways to “lie” with a woman. The first, ביאה כדרכה (sex in the natural way) or vaginal sex is cited as the preferable way to go for a couple. Not only is it the only position of the two that can result in pregnancy but it’s seen as more conducive to intimacy.

The other way, ביאה שלא כדרכה (sex in an unnatural way) is translated as anal sex.

The Talmud relays the story of a woman who met with the great sage, Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, disclosing some intimate details about her private life.

“My teacher, I set him a table, (using a euphemism to say that she lay before him during intimacy,) and he turned it over.

Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said to her: My daughter, the Torah permitted him to engage in sexual intercourse with you even in an atypical manner, and what can I do for you if he does so?”

* FYI: “Table Turning Over” = Anal Sex.

The Talmud explains that “whatever a man wishes to do with his wife, he may do,” granted that she desires and enjoys the act as well. But with almost all sexual acts in Judaism, there is the question of “wasted seed” or semen that doesn’t end up in the vagina.

As opposed to fellatio, which is permitted but stressed that ejaculation culminate in the vagina, Rabbis differ on whether anal sex may be accompanied by ejaculation.

Some Rabbis explain that if the intention of engaging in anal sex is to prevent pregnancy, then ejaculation is strictly forbidden. However, if the couple jointly desires anal sex and it enhances their passion, ejaculation is allowed occasionally, so long as the male “doesn’t get accustomed to it.”

Anal sex can be a very intimate act between a couple and can be very enjoyable for women (never painful!). The anus is a highly erogenous zone and can result in intense orgasms through “indirect stimulation of the g-spot and a-spot, through the shared wall between the vagina and rectum.”

Anal sex requires a lot of patience, care and for many a deep level of trust and vulnerability. Backdoor play can also be something fun and different to try with a spouse, so long as each person feels up to it and excited by it.

PLEASE NOTE:

Anyone engaging in anal play should go slowly, use copious amounts of lube (the anus is not self-lubricating), constantly check in with each other and never go from anal to vaginal sex.

*Nedarim 20:a-b.