Post-sex blues known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD) is where someone experiences negative feelings including anxiety, sadness, agitation or even crying after sex.

It’s not uncommon either.

A 2015 study found that 46% of women have had an episode of PCD and a 2019 study discovered that 41% of men have faced PCD at some point in their lives.

Science is still behind on what the main contributing factors are for PCD, but they could be linked to the drop in hormones following sex, unresolved or suppressed anxieties about the relationship, general stress, being postnatal, body image issues and sexual trauma.

What they do know though is that these post-sex feelings don’t actually indicate anything about the sex or relationship. Everything can be great, but PCD can still show up.

Regardless of the individual case, it’s important to understand:

Sex is an extremely intense, powerful experience not to mention physically and emotionally demanding. Our bodies and emotions are inextricably linked and can bring a lot to the surface, unearthing buried feelings- and some of them are tough. These feelings can also feel extra confusing when they follow such a  high and there’s no apparent root cause. But Breathe! and fight the instinct to shut down.

A shared sexual interaction does not end when intercourse is done and your bodies have untangled. It continues on- through talking, holding each other and checking in.

When these feelings hit, talk about them. Even if you can’t define or understand them. Talking about what you’re feeling will bring your partner in even closer- helping to unburden you so that you can navigate through it together.